


Michael Mell Gains a SQUIP, Homestuck Style

by leviathanSlewfoot



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz, Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Panic Attacks, body control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-10
Updated: 2018-04-10
Packaged: 2019-04-20 22:19:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,000
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14270733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviathanSlewfoot/pseuds/leviathanSlewfoot
Summary: SQUIP: mIch43l m3ll, w3lc0m3 70 y0Ur SUP3r QU4n7Um UnI7 In73l Pr0c3SS0r; y0Ur SQUIP.In which I decide to tell a story about Michael Mell getting SQUIPped, Homestuck Style.





	Michael Mell Gains a SQUIP, Homestuck Style

Your name is Michael Mell, and you are in the BATHROOM by yourself in the biggest party of the fall.

>Michael: Have a Panic Attack

MICHAEL: 1 4m h4ng1ng 1n th3 64thr00m at th3 61gg3st p4rty 0f th3 f4ll. 1 c0uld st4y r1ght h3r3 0r d1s4pp34r, 4nd n060dy'd 3v3n n0t1c3 4t 4ll.  
MICHAEL: 1'm 4 cr33p3r 1n 4 64thr00m, 'c4us3 my 6uddy k1nd4 l3ft m3 4l0n3.  
MICHAEL: 6ut 1'd r4th3r f4k3-p33 th4n st4nd 4wkw4rdly, 0r pr3t3nd t0 ch3ck 4 t3xt 0n my ph0n3.  
MICHAEL: 3v3ryth1ng f3lt f1n3 wh3n 1 w4s h4lf 0f 4 p41r.  
MICHAEL: 4nd thr0ugh n0 f4ult 0f m1n3, th3r3's n0 0th3r h4lf th3r3.  
MICHAEL: n0w 1'm just M1ch43l 1n th3 b4thr00m, M1ch43l 1n th3 b4thr00m 4t 4 p4rty. f0rg3t h0w l0ng 1t's 633n, 1'm just M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m, M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m 4t 4 p4rty.

Someone knocks at the door, asking to be let in. It startles you.

MICHAEL: n0, y0u c4n't c0m3 1n! 1'm w41t1ng 1t 0ut 't1l 1t's t1me t0 l34v3, 4nd p1ck1ng 4t gr0ut 4s 1 s0ftly gr13v3!  
MICHAEL: 1'm just M1ch43l wh0 y0u d0n't kn0w, M1ch43l fly1n' s0l0, M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m 6y h1ms3lf!  
MICHAEL: 4ll 6y h1ms3lf...  
MICHAEL: 1 4m h1d1ng, 6ut h3's 0ut th3r3, just 1gn0r1ng 4ll 0ur h1st0ry. m3m0r13s g3t 3r4s3d, 4nd 1'll g3t r3pl4c3d w1th 4 n3w3r, “c00l3r” v3rs10n 0f m3.

>Drunk Girl: I Wanna Dance With Somebody!

MICHAEL: 4nd 1 h34r 4 drunk g1rl s1ng 4l0ng t0 Wh1tn3y thr0ugh th3 d00r: ‘1 w4nn4 dance w1th s0m360dy!’  
MICHAEL: 4nd my f33l1ngs s1nk, 'c4us3 1t m4k3s m3 th1nk; n0w th3r3's n0 0n3 t0 m4k3 fun 0f drunk g1rls w1th 4nym0r3!  
MICHAEL: n0w 1t's just  
MICHAEL: M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m, M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m 4t 4 p4rty. 1 h4lf r3gr3t th3 633rs. M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m, M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m at a party!  
MICHAEL: 4s 1 ch0k3 64ck th3 t34rs.  
MICHAEL: 1'll w41t 4s l0ng 4s 1 n33d, unt1l my f4c3 1s dry, 0r 1'll just 6l4m3 1t 0n w33d, 0r s0m3th1ng 1n my 3y3!  
MICHAEL: 1'm just M1ch43l wh0 y0u d0n't kn0w, M1ch43l fly1n' s0l0,  
MICHAEL: M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m by h1ms3lf!

You hear a knock, knock, knock, knock at the door.

MICHAEL: th3y'r3 g0nn4 st4rt t0 sh0ut s00n-

Knock, knock, knock, knock!

MICHAEL: 0h h3ll y34h, 1'll 63 0ut s00n!

Knock, knock, knock, knock!

MICHAEL: 1t sucks y0u l3ft m3 “h33r3” 4l0n3-

Knock, knock, knock, knock!

MICHAEL: “h33r3” 1n th1s t33n4g3 64ttl3 z0n3-

Clang, clang, clang, clang!

MICHAEL: 1 f33l th3 pr3ssur3 6l0w1ng up-

Bang, bang, bang, bang!

MICHAEL: my 61g m1st4k3 w4s sh0w1ng up-

Splash, splash, splash, splash!

MICHAEL: 1 thr0w s0m3 w4t3r 1n my f4c3,  
MICHAEL: 4nd 1 4m 1n 4 63tt3r pl4c3.  
MICHAEL: 1 g0 t0 0p3n up th3 d00r, 6ut 1 c4n't h34r kn0ck1ng  
MICHAEL: 4nym0re.

You back away from the door until you hit a wall, then slide down until you’re sitting with your knees drawn up to your chin.

MICHAEL: 1 c4n't h3lp 6ut y34rn f0r 4 d1ff3r3nt t1m3…  
MICHAEL: 4nd th3n 1 l00k 1n th3 m1rr0r, 4nd th3 pr3s3nt 1s cl34r3r, 4nd th3r3's n0 d3ny1ng, 1'm just-

>Michael: Burst into tears.

MICHAEL: ...4t 4 p4rty.  
MICHAEL: 1s th3r3 4 s4dd3r s1ght th4n-  
MICHAEL: mmmhmm...  
MICHAEL: M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m 4t 4 p4rty?  
MICHAEL: th1s 1s 4 h31n0us n1ght.  
MICHAEL: 1 w1sh 1’d st4y3d 4t h0m3 1n 63d, w4tch1ng c4bl3 p0rn, 0r w1sh 1'd 0ff3d mys3lf 1nst34d! w1sh 1 w4s n3v3r 60rn!

Suddenly, you can see yourself as everyone else sees you. You had always wondered why you were the odd one, just because your interests were slightly unconventional. Now, you know why.

MICHAEL: 1'm just M1ch43l wh0's 4 l0n3r, s0 h3 must 63 4 st0n3r!  
MICHAEL: r1d3s 4 pt cru1s3r!  
MICHAEL: G0d, h3's such 4 l0s3r!  
MICHAEL: M1ch43l fly1n' s0l0 wh0 y0u th1nk th4t y0u kn0w!  
MICHAEL: M1ch43l 1n th3 64thr00m 6y h1ms3lf!  
MICHAEL: 4ll 6y h1ms3lf...  
MICHAEL: 4ll 6y h1ms3lf!  
MICHAEL: 4nd 4ll y0u kn0w 460ut m3 1s my n4m3.  
MICHAEL: 4w3s0m3 p4rty, 1'm s0 gl4d 1 c4m3.

Well, the PANIC ATTACK went well, but it was the worst experience you’ve ever had in your entire existence.  
You hear a small chuckle echo in the tiny BATHROOM.

UNKNOWN: h0w UnSIgh7ly. 4 PI7IfUl chIld f33lIng S0rry f0r hImS3lf 47 7h3 8Igg3S7 P4r7y 0f 7h3 y34r.  
MICHAEL: w-wh4t? w-wh0 s41d th4t? wh0’s th3r3?

>The SQUIP: Enter.

You see a tall man, well-dressed, materialize close in front of you. You have to crane your neck upwards in order to see his face, even though you are usually pretty tall yourself.  
Right now, however, you are hugging your knees as you lean against the BATHROOM door, so you aren’t as tall as you would be if you were standing up.  
Even though you haven’t ever seen him before, you recognize him immediately.  
Or, rather, it.

MICHAEL: y-y0u… y-y-y0u’r3 4 SQU1P!

The SQUIP kneels down in front of you with a small smile tugging at the edges of his lips, keeping eye contact the whole time. He gently presses a single pointer finger to your lips. He seems strangely chill, especially given the current situation.  
Even though you know that the pressure placed there is nonexistent, that you just think that your lips are being slightly pressed further in, the unnatural, simulated sensation sends a cold shiver down your spine.  
It’s the almost-universal sign to be quiet.  
So you do as it tells you. You seal your lips shut, not even making a sound.  
You always have been extremely receptive and responsive to touch.  
Does the SQUIP know that? It must. Why else would it be initiating physical contact at a time like this?  
God, you can’t stop trembling.

SQUIP: Shhh… hUSh, chIld. y3llIng 70 S33mIngly n0 0n3 wIll SImPly dr4w 4ll 0f 7h47 Unw4n73d 4773n7I0n 70w4rdS y0UrS3lf. y0U w0Uldn’7 w4n7 7h47, n0w, w0Uld y0U?  
SQUIP: d0n’7 SP34k, jUS7 7hInk y0Ur 4nSw3r. I’m InSId3 y0Ur h34d, S0, 73ll m3, why w0Uld y0U w4n7 70 4dd 70 7h3 lIS7 0f r34S0nS why P30Pl3 7hInk y0U’r3 4 S70n3r?  
SQUIP: jUS7 y3S 0r n0, mIch43l, 7h3r3’S n0 r34S0n 70 c0mPlIc473 m4773rS fUr7h3r 7h4n 7h3y 4lr34dy 4r3.

You think you’re on the edge of another PANIC ATTACK. That, or you’re still on one and this situation is just making it flare up again.  
A dry sob wrestles itself out through your raw throat.  
The SQUIP is suddenly holding your arms, firmly so that you aren’t able to wrestle yourself out of it’s grip, but somehow gently, because the grasp isn’t tight enough to cause pain. It starts tracing circles into the skin above your elbow.

SQUIP: Shh, Sh Sh Sh…  
SQUIP: 34Sy 7h3r3, SlUgg3r…  
SQUIP: h3y, h3y, 8r347h3.  
SQUIP: In 4nd 0U7. In 4nd 0U7. In 4nd 0U7… n0, n0, mIch43l, lIS73n 70 m3, lIS73n 70 m3, mIch43l…  
SQUIP: jUS7 8r347h3…  
SQUIP: h3y, c4n y0U c0Un7? I’ll 837 y0U c4n c0Un7, mIch43l, I’ll 837 y0U c4n jUS7 c0Un7 wI7h m3, w3’r3 jUS7 g0Ing 70 c0Un7 70 f0Ur, 0k4y? c4n y0U d0 7h47 f0r m3, mIch43l?

You don’t think you can do that, not for yourself, not for Jeremy, not for your moms, not for Santa, not for God, and certainly not for the SQUIP.

SQUIP: jUS7 74k3 4 d33P 8r347h In, 7w0, 7hr33, f0Ur, h0ld, 7w0, 7hr33, f0Ur, 3xh4l3, 7w0, 7hr33, f0Ur. mIch43l, 8r347h3, 0k4y?

You can’t, you can’t breathe steadily, your breaths are just shallow and shaky and panicked, and you can’t breathe-

SQUIP: mIch43l.

>SQUIP: Breathe.

SQUIP: 8r347h3.

Until you suddenly can.  
Only its not you who can. Your chest is rising and falling steadily, but not of your own accord.  
You’ve been disconnected from your lungs, and someone or something else is taking in O2 slowly in through your nose, letting it completely fill your abdomen, holding it for a few moments, and then letting it out slowly through your mouth.  
The calm breaths only send more panic to your brain, because the feeling is just so alien.  
The thought makes you giggle hysterically.  
Because you know what is manipulating your breathing, despite the panic coursing through your veins and neurons that would usually make thinking so difficult. Maybe it’s the fact that your breathing is actually sending a reasonable amount of oxygen to your brain, unlike how your usual unsteady breathing wouldn’t.

SQUIP: mIch43l m3ll.

It states your full name firmly, snapping you out of your hysteria.

SQUIP: l00k 47 m3. 0P3n y0Ur 3y3S 4nd l00k 47 m3.

You slowly open your eyes, realizing for the first time that they had been screwed shut tightly. You also realize for the first time that your hands are over your ears and that you are looking down.  
The SQUIP raises your chin with a hooked pointer finger, lifting your head so that its eyes and yours will be level with one another.  
The SQUIP is making eye contact, and not allowing you to look away. You feel yourself squirm, both under its scrutinizing gaze and in its tight grip.

SQUIP: y0U h4v3 70 lIS73n 70 m3, f0r y0Ur 0wn g00d. If I h4dn’7 74k3n c0n7r0l 0f y0Ur r3SPIr470ry fUnc7I0nS, y0U w0Uld h4v3 P4SS3d 0U7 In 4 m4773r 0f S3c0ndS fr0m 4 l4ck 0f 0xyg3n.  
SQUIP: 4nd n07 0nly mUS7 y0U lIS73n. y0U h4v3 70 083y my c0mm4ndS, wh37h3r y0U w4n7 70 0r n07, mIch43l.  
SQUIP: In 4 m0m3n7, I 4m g0Ing 70 r3lInQUISh my c0ntr0l 0f y0Ur r3SPIr40ry SyS73m 83c4US3 0f 7h3 S7r4In I7 Pl4c3S 0n my P0w3r SUPPly. Wh3n I d0, y0U h4v3 70 8r347h3, mIch43l. y0U mUS7 c4lm y0UrS3lf 3n0Ugh 70 d0 7h47, 47 7h3 v3ry l34S7.  
SQUIP: d0 y0U Und3rS74nd m3?

You nod vigorously, if only to get it to stop looking at you.

SQUIP: 4lrIgh7.

Then, you regain control of your respiratory functions.  
You gasp like a fish out of water for a few moments, but force yourself to breathe to the rhythm of the SQUIP’s counting, which it continued almost immediately after you regained control.  
The SQUIP releases your arms.  
This time, you are met with praise for your mastery of your lungs. Pride that is not your own warms your ears and cheeks.  
Still, though, the air trembles in your lungs.  
Even so, after a few minutes, you miraculously manage to reign your thoughts back in with the power of deep breaths just enough to respond to the SQUIP’s initial question.  
You know that if it’s inside your head, it most likely already knows the answer, but you aren’t going to start something over that. You’re too drained, both physically and emotionally, to argue with a super quantum unit intel computer inside of your brain.

MICHAEL: y-y3s.

God, even your thoughts can’t seem to keep themselves at least somewhat seamless and steady after your PANIC ATTACK.  
You would have thought that your fatigue would at least prevent you from stuttering. Well, you would have been wrong if you had thought so.

MICHAEL: 1-1 d0n’t und3rst4nd. h0w 4r3 y0u h3r3? h0w c0uld th1s h4v3 h4pp3n3d? h-h0w d1d 1t h4pp3n? 1… 1 n3v3r t-t00k 4ny w31rd p1lls!

The SQUIP laughed.

SQUIP: mIch43l, d0 y0U r3m3m83r 7h47 cryS74l P3PSI y0U 80Ugh7 34rl13r, 4nd d0wn3d 83f0r3 y0U 4rrIv3d 47 7hIS P4r7y?  
MICHAEL: y34h… s-s0? w-wh47 460ut 1t?

The SQUIP smirked.

SQUIP: I7 w4S SQUIPP3d.

You freeze.  
Oh God. Oh, God. You are screwed. You are so screwed.  
You aren’t even thinking about who slipped the gray oblong pill into your Crystal Pepsi, or even how they did it without you knowing.  
You aren’t regretting deciding to have a red solo cup of Mountain Dew when you saw them being served on the kitchen table yet.  
You aren’t even wondering how you didn’t feel the pain of the SQUIP pulling information from your brain when it activated.  
You are frozen on the floor in the BATHROOM, and you feel like the pitiful child that you are.  
You can only quiver slightly, barely noticeably at all. A soft whimper is caught in your throat.

SQUIP: mIch43l m3ll, w3lc0m3 70 y0Ur SUP3r QU4n7Um UnI7 In73l Pr0c3SS0r; y0Ur SQUIP.


End file.
